Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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