Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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