I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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