Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
