What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
