oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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