I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
