I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
