Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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