I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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