Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I am midnight drunk by noon
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
