There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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