also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
