the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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