His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
