ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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