What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
