you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
