so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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