Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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