She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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