WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
