I just pynch a tree in the face
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
