i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
