shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
