My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
