did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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