Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
