I'm laying in your front yard are you home
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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