**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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