This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
