I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
