You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I party with great urgency now.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
