she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
