Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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