There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Success! We fucked roommates!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
