She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
