Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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