You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
