Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
