Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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