Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
