Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm at about main and main street
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
