So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
