You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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