guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
