i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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