woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
