This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
