this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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