Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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