if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
pray to the hookup gods
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
