She's JV to your varsity
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
