He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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